Warning: Long vent ahead!

I received a letter from Delta a few days ago telling me that I have xxxx miles that may expire and wouldn't it be great if I redeemed those miles for one of many fabulous magazines! DF says, well, can you transfer your miles to me and we can combine our miles to use for a free ticket instead?

So I go online because I generally hate talking to customer service representatives to see if this is a viable option. They want me to log in. I have no idea what my pin# is, so I click on the link for a forgotten pin. They tell me that they'll mail my pin to me.

Being the ever-patient spaz, I decided this was not good enough. So with dread, I called customer service. They ask for my membership number and then my address or date of birth. I give my address since clearly they already have that. "I'm sorry, that's the wrong address for this account. Please give me your date of birth." So I do. The rest of it went something like this:

Me: I'd like to see if I can transfer my miles to another member.
Delta: You can log in to delta.com and transfer miles through our easy to use website.
Me: I tried that already and I can't log in and the website told me to call you to help me out.
Delta: So you cannot log in?
Me: No, I don't know my pin.
Delta: I can't give you your pin, so I will have to mail it to you.
Me: That would be great, but the address you read back to me is my old address from two years ago. Can you change it to my current address?
Delta: I would need your pin number to change your address.
Me: But I don't have my pin.
Delta: We can mail your pin to your home address.
Me: So, wait, you're telling me that you need my pin to change my address, but I can't get my pin unless you mail it to me at my incorrect address.
Delta: Yes ma'am.
Me: *taking deep breath* Is there any other way I can have my address changed?
Delta: Yes, you can mail a letter to us requesting a change of address. You must show proof of your new address and proof of identity such as a government issued identification card.
Me: I don't really feel comfortable sending you copies of my driver's license for this. I try to minimize the chance of identity theft whenever I can. Is there anything else I can send?
Delta: Yes, you can also send a copy of your social security card.
Me: How about if I just mail back the letter you sent to me with my membership number printed on it and the correct address and circle that and with a note to change your damn files!
Delta: I'm sorry, we'll need a social security card or passport or other government issued identification.
Me: Thanks. Have a nice day. *click*

I just hate circular logic.