I'm not normal

Sized that is. Having been my current height since the age of about 13, I have grown accustomed to it. I've even come to accept it as normal and cannot fathom being any taller. But then I see pictures of myself standing next to someone else (namely the BF) and I wonder out loud, am I really that short? "YES!" is the exasperated response I usually get. "You are not normal." Yes I am, I'm a very normal size. Well, maybe normal size for a short person.

This came to a head yesterday when I was looking at this beautiful tank top pattern. It just has a great neckline and the option to have a racerback back is something I've never seen before. Anyway, I was dying to try it, but then I looked at the finished measurements.

Hmm, I might as well wear a Hefty bag and try to pass myself off as Mary-Kate Olsen if I use the pattern as is.

The pattern is only written in one size, but it says to just adjust to your size by multiplying out the gauge by your hip measurement. Okay, I can do that. That's easy math.

Then I looked at the rest of the pattern. Okay, the finished length is 29". Hmm, that puts the hem somewhere between my crotch and my knees. I'm not digging that, but it's okay, I just won't knit straight for as long as they suggest.

Then there's the plunging neckline. Well, let's just say the "plunge" option would stir up those long forgotten (thank god) memories of JLo in a green dress.

Sigh. I should just start from scratch...